Saturday, April 22, 2006

gone for a day

We treated ourselves to a nice dinner of deli, seared abalone, lamb, and apricot cake in a hotel-restaurant overlooking the pretentious part of this city.

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I take lousy pictures with my oversized Nokia.

Back to reality

I want to feel proud of myself again. Nowadays, no matter what ‘achievement’ I accomplish or impossibility I make possible, I do not feel any sense of pride.

The reason: I am getting older. I am much less conceited now than I was 5 years ago in college, back when I was the one true fascist and everyone was inferior to me. I miss taking pride in what I do. Promoting myself. Making everyone else look like losers.

I want to be the heartless, stuck-up fucker I was born to be (again). I want to look at where I am now and feel proud, and then brag about it. For one day, I want to relish in my achievements. When people ask me how the business is going, I want to be able to say

I’m raking in more money in a month than you do in a year because I am so goooood at this. *waits 5 seconds and snaps fingers* Whoops! I just made your whole week’s worth of pay. And why? Because I work fucking hard. And everything I touch turns to gold. Now go hang yourself.

and not the usual

Oh, it’s ok. I’m overworked and always worried.

I don’t want to be nice. And yet I am. I really am. Even my friends notice.

Make me a pompous prick again please please please.

I want the biggest head in the world.

Make that universe. Just for a day.


Blogger Jacs said...

again, something that is overrated: getting older.

6:30 PM  

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