Saturday, February 10, 2007

Chilean Sea Bass with Truffle Clam Sauce

Dear person who wants to be my friend,

I only make friends with three kinds of people:

1. Straight women with balls
2. Straight men with balls
3. Gay men/women who like Diane Von Furstenberg

I’m already 26. I already have a comfortable number of so-so friends and close friends, so NO, I am not holding any more auditions. Unless you pre-qualify, I’m really not interested.

You pre-qualify if you:

1. Find Japanese cars funny
2. Still watch Seinfeld
3. Made your first million before 25* or
4. At least have a decent savings account*

*The reason you need decent money to be my friend is because I do not want to pay for your dinner when we hang out.


Can you almost smell Valentine’s Day? I can.

Valentine’s Day is disgusting because for some reason, people find it imperative to wear red/be all touchy-touchy. But I like it because of the food. MSP treated me to a very early Valentine’s Day by feeding me:

1. Soup
2. Foie gras
3. Oysters
4. Tenderloin Medallion with Gratin of Assorted Mushrooms on Lyonnaise Potato
5. Chilean Sea Bass with Truffle Clam Sauce (my favourite)
6. Flourless chocolate cake with orange caramel sauce
7. Tartufo Nero with Grand Marnier

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So shit, maybe I actually like Valentine’s Day as long as it is celebrated earlier. This makes me a sissy by my standards. A complete disgrace if you ask my friends.


Blogger ennui said...

we've always known you to be a closet romantic, ballsy or not. as for me, i'll be spending my valentines/anniversary in Baguio! Yipee! Ü

PS - the oysters look delectable. too bad my crumpet doesn't like 'em

12:36 AM  
Blogger RuKsaK said...

the food looks great - which is a shame as we could make friends but i don't pre-qualify

8:17 AM  
Blogger bismuth said...

if valentines day means i could eat like that, then it would be my most favorite day. (thinks again). nah! i'd rather have krispy kreme with you, my only closest friends. ever. no more room for auditions here as well. except maybe for ben anderson and simon reeve.

1:07 PM  
Blogger mussolini said...

ennui> eat the oysters on your own. it will still be delicious.

ruksak> too bad. you seem interesting.

bismuth> the desire to gain more friends shoudl stop at 25. any one who does not have enough friends by that time is just a loser.

6:04 PM  
Blogger {illyria} said...

mmmmmm, good man, msp. didn't celebrate ♥-day, but i was so happy because i got home early early early.

6:26 PM  
Blogger A-hole! said...

naks. balemtimes.

7:26 PM  
Blogger A-hole! said...

still alive?

3:10 PM  

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