Monday, March 10, 2008

I hate tacky weddings

(WARNING: This post rants ala Wilhelmina Slater.)

Bridesmaid:
You're a mean person.

Me: And you're wearing polyester.

* * * *

So I attended a wedding yesterday, and these were the things I had to endure:

1.
The bride and the groom singing GOT TO BELIEVE IN MAGIC in Cantonese. It was hard to keep a straight face. I managed. To see how, read #2.

2.
Fake fish, fake meat. They served vegan. Eating sweet and sour taro kept my facial movement to a minimum, thus making me appear appreciative of the tackiness that was the whole wedding.

3.
A green-and-red-and-gold motif. Seriously -- are these people color blind?

4.
Fake Chanel bags everywhere. Please, ladies. If you are attending a wedding, leave your pleather knockoffs at home.

5.
A god awful audio-video presentation. It featured pictures of the couple in weird poses -- you know, arms around each other, noses touching, lips almost kissing? Like uptight porn?


* * * *

The only thing that kept me alive was the knowledge that in a sea of too-fitted polyviscose blends, I was a standout in my relaxed cotton-silk voile cap sleeve dress by Leon Max:






I also carried an odd-looking bucket handbag made of real sheep fur.

* * * *

Weddings suck.

2 Comments:

OpenID collapsingbarrycade said...

fota, this is fuckin hilary-us!

9:37 AM  
Blogger {illyria} said...

i love the dress.

9:01 PM  

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