monsters under my bed

It’s much easier to blog about my life when I feel good about it. I guess someone who does not do creative writing (like me) will always find it harder to make stress/uncertainty/fear concrete.

So in order to cope, I have decided to list (in the usual thesis language I am used to) EVERYTHING I AM AFRAID OF.

1. Poverty. Scarcity of anything good is terrifying. Just the thought of not being able to at least maintain my lifestyle is enough to give me sleepless nights. How sad that my trust fund is my yardstick. But can you help it? Has anyone besides the dalai lama ever really made peace with material wealth?

2. Business failure. My company is in a make-or-break situation right now. A lot is at stake in the launch of a new product/service. By ‘a lot,’ I mean:

a. Heads will roll if this does not work. We have to let go of some employees to stay afloat if we do not get enough revenue in time.

b. There will be significant reduction in perks/benefits. Without the success of this new venture, it’s just impossible to afford the same health care benefits and bonuses we’ve been giving.

3. Pity. I don’t like it when people feel sorry for me.

4. Rejection. If I end up becoming a big failure, would I have the same life? The same friends?

My hair is falling out (again). The same thing happened about a year ago when we were just starting to build the company. When my hair falls out, it usually means I am worried, scared and paranoid all at the same time.

I gotta get a new shampoo. Or a new life. Entrepreneurship is harder than I thought it would be.