Thursday, May 27, 2010

break me out


The next run is almost here, and I'm not ready.

In the last two weeks, life has not been "normal." The stress of working endlessly and dealing with someone's passing has taken its toll. I haven't been eating right. Sleep has been optional.

The shock and anger has subsided, thank God, and I'm slowly shaking myself out of this rut.

It hasn't been easy finding entertainment, but I'm succeeding. Last weekend I went on a walking tour of Old Manila, and tomorrow I'm tasting 100 French Wines. I hear there's foie gras canapes. I better NOT wear cashmere, because I'll just soil it with duck liver and Bordeaux. Sheersh! Hick!

* * * *


There are moments when I still feel deeply sad. She was like my sister, after all.

These moments come suddenly. Just a week ago, I was running like hell -- faster and stronger -- when tears just rolled down my face. I couldn't tell how much I really cried. Was that sweat or were they tears? I have no way of knowing.

So anyway, I just keep running.



Blogger ennui said...

there are times that that scene you recounted to us just flashes in my mind out of nowhere. it's a horrible scene that my empathic side tries to understand, and she and i weren't even close, so i know it must be a lot harder for you. but you're so much stronger than i am so i know you'll be okay.

2:52 PM  
Blogger Erica is Rich said...

I was really shocked to hear the news and immediately thought of you and how you are. I pray you are getting better by the day.


3:21 PM  
Blogger mussolini said...

ennui> how empty some moments now feel. i don't have anyone to email mundane things to, like what ikea item i wish i had. and no one emails me mundane things like what was for lunch and who was in the subway. i still miss her. i don't think that ever goes away.

that said, i'm getting better at not having a best friend -- a sister, really -- but i am still looking for a symbolic closure.

9:22 AM  
Blogger mussolini said...

ekay - thanks for your prayer :)

9:22 AM  
Blogger Bubbles said...

I just heard about it but I don't really know how it happened. Didn't realize you remained close to this day.

12:07 AM  

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